I like to think it a success when the cops are called
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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