At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
