Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
