sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
