Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
