We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
