Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize