So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
