Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
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I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
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We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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