He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
