i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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