I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
