I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Terrible idea I love it
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
