I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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