I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
