I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
