Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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