I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What drink are we having for lunch?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize