He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
