I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize