oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
