Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
