I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
