You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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