Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize