The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
is wine microwaveable?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
