I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
