if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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