Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
