I got chris browned last night
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Randomize
