if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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