You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
