So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
