those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
