i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
And then he peed in my hair
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