No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
