Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
