you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
