Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
