I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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