He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
