dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
