And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
