Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
