You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Randomize
