I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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