"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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