wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
