you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
