you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
