just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
