Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize