I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
