How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
did i walk over a car last night?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
