Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
