how hairy? two words: wookie tits
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
