okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
