SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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