You're my little dorito
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
