No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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