im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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