ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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