I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
