The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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